Freshly Doug Tuesday

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The Senate would be much improved by the addition of a Drag Queen Party

The big news today is of course the announcement of the draft changes to anti-discrimination law, which, while welcome in many respects, still maintains religious exemptions in the vast majority of cases. I’ll be writing more about this in a separate post. The biggest ‘religious exemption’ is, of course, the Marriage Act, which still locks out everyone except man-woman couples.

I have to my surprise discovered that the Daily Mail (newspaper of choice for suburban homophobes, sufferers from Thatcher-withdrawal, and nursing home residents) back in May, suddenly discovered same-sex marriage does after all have respectable, Christian antecedents. What’s more, they wrote about it in respectful terms. The sky did not fall, any more than it did back in the day when Emperor Basil the First (867-886 AD) and his companion John got married in church. It seems we, and not the exclusionary heterosexists, are the ones with history and tradition on our side.

Not that Prime Minister Julia Gillard will be persuaded. Neither Basil and hubby John nor Sts. Sergius & Bacchus command a trade union and a large bloc vote. She has, however, recorded an anti-bullying video for Rami Mandow’s Community Brave Foundation, even if it isn’t very specifically pro-gay. Kind of her, of course, and kudos to Rami, but one really does rather get sick of being fed on crumbs in this way. And did she have to sound so patronising?

Recently, a straight ally on Facebook suggested that people such as Rami, Michael Barnett, his partner Gregory Storer, Carrington Brigham, Miles Heffernan, James Newburrie, Rob Mitchell and of course myself should join forces, start a political party, and grab a handful of Senate seats. Then we could hold the balance of power. The sole policy of this party would be full equality for LGBTI people, including marriage.

Nice idea in theory, mate, but I suspect any such attempt would cause many more same sex divorces than marriages, at least among the suggested senators. Not that I would mind spending my final years dozing quietly in the upper house, saying no to everything till I got my own way, and throwing the occasional tanty, thereby ensuring my second childhood resembled my first as closely as possible.

No, the best people to pioneer a queer political party are not the earnest nerds, policy wonks and news junkies of the LGBT world, but the people who have been in the vanguard since the earliest demos. Our senior drag queens must band together to assault the upper house – they’d get the job done far quicker than us lot. And  I’d love to see Senator Heffernan on the receiving end of a tongue lashing from Senators Quicksand and Diamond, wouldn’t you? After all Ilona Staller, also known as Cicciolina (the Italian porn star whose name means ‘small penis’) is having a go – so why not, gals??

And speaking of drags queens (he said, with a laboured segue), another senior Catholic booby has called a very senior British politician foolish for supporting same-sex marriage. I think said prelate is pretty foolish for supporting a multinational child-molesting organised crime syndicate, don’t you?

A recent anti-same-sex-marriage protest in France turned very nasty indeed, as men trumpeting their heterosexuality turned on a bunch of topless feminists vaguely attired as nuns and beat them. The headline on the story, by the way, is misleading.

The University of Melbourne and Turning Point Alcohol and Drug Centre are looking for volunteers for a survey on lesbian and bisexual women and alcohol use, funded by our new best budies beyondblue. Same-sex attracted women aged 18 years and over are invited to participate in the study’s online survey.

And finally, not gay at all but thought-provoking and fun. Consider this statement:

“We don’t actually see things [at all]; we hallucinate them in detail from low-resolution cues.” As Beau Lotto explains in his presentation, we’re hallucinating reality all the time — but we only take notice when our hallucinations fail to make accurate predictions’

In other words, we’re pretty much all tripping all of the time. Just as I always suspected.

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About the author

Veteran gay writer and speaker, Doug was one of the founders of the UKs pioneering GLBTI newspaper Gay News (1972) , and of the second, Gay Week, and is a former Features Editor of Him International. He presented news and current affairs on JOY 94.9 FM Melbourne for more than ten years. And now he's been nominated for LGBTI Journalist of the Year 2017, which is great news, as he hasn't won any of these things for years! If you want to nominate him too - the more the merrier - you can do it here http://www.australianlgbtiawards.com.au/public-nominations.html "Doug is revered, feared and reviled in equal quantities, at times dividing people with his journalistic wrath. Yet there is no doubt this grandpa-esque bear keeps everyone abreast of anything and everything LGBT across the globe." (Daniel Witthaus, "Beyond Priscilla", Clouds of Magellan, Melbourne, 2014)